What It Really Means to be Pro-Life


"What do you mean you don't believe in birth control?"

I was a senior at a Christian college, engaged to be married in just a matter of months. I was counting down the weeks until I graduated and could finally walk down the aisle to the love of my life.

I wasn't really thinking about children.

I had bigger things on my plate, like wedding planning and graduate school applications and picking out silverware. Babies weren't really on the agenda quite yet. Sure, I wanted a family…eventually.  

But one weekend things changed. I was sitting with a group of friends talking about life, and weddings and families, when a friend of mine made the comment that he and his future bride didn't intend to use any form of birth control.

"Why not? Are you crazy? Are you really ready for kids?"

His answer spoke straight to my heart in a way that only truth can.

"For us, it's all about being pro-life. How can we say we value life if we do everything in our power to prevent it?"

Pro-life is a buzz word in the Christian community. Most believers I know consider themselves to be pro-life. We stand united against the evils of abortion. We pray for those mothers trapped in pro-choice movement. We cringe when we see horrendous news stories like Kermit Gosnell and see statistics about this modern American holocaust. We are pro-life.

Or should I say, we are anti-abortion. 

Sitting on the couch that day with my friends I came face-to-face with this very uncomfortable truth: being against abortion doesn't automatically make you pro-life.

When I think of being "pro" something I think of being for it. It's something we stand for, something we fight for, something we value.

Likewise, being pro-life logically means that we stand for, fight for, and value LIFE. It goes beyond a political agenda. It's about our attitude, our beliefs, and our actions.

And yet, at the age of 23 graduating from a Christian college and ready to embark on the adventure of marriage, I had bought into the pro-choice rhetoric hook, line, and sinker.

Birth control was my path to freedom, my path to choice. I had the right to choose how many children I wanted and when I had them. And if children weren't convenient, I had the right to the benefits and blessings of marriage without the God-given responsibility that naturally comes with sex.

My marriage, my family, my choice.

I just didn't realize at the time how broken my logic was. I loved the Lord and desired to serve him, but the blinders on my heart kept me from seeing just how much the world had influenced my ideas of children and fertility.

As the Lord slowly peeled back the layers of fear and selfishness, I found myself faced with the ugly truth: I valued my sense of control more than I valued the life that God calls blessed.

I’d like to say that it was an easy decision to just embrace family and children. It wasn't. In fact, this conversation started a long two year process of studying, praying, and wrestling with where fertility fits into our Christian life. 

What does the Bible say about being pro-life and how can we best honor and glorify God with our family? Do I really think children are a good thing? Even the ones I haven't had yet? 

Now, five years later I don’t have all the answers. Some days I still wrestle with these questions, wondering what our family will look like 5, 10, even 20 years from now. But I am confident in this: As we continue to grow our faith and grow our family, God will give us all the grace we need. For ourselves, for our children, and for those who may think differently than us. 

And that's all we really need. Grace. 


  1. You worded this so well, Katherine. I have never really thought about the decision to have as many children as God wanted us to have in the terms of being pro-life. You are absolutely right though. If we believe God creates each child for a reason and that every life is precious then we should want to have more lives to raise for Him. Thank you for explaining it so beautifully!

  2. Oh my goodness! I could have written this myself! My husband and I prevented for several years before "deciding" to start having children. I only wanted one, you know. Then after one, I was in love. In love with the idea that this is what God had created me for, that I was finally in His will with my life. Then God began showing me what His Word says about having children, and albeit scary at times, and after many a long discussion with my husband and prayers for clarity, we are in this adventure of being a true pro - life team. It's scary sometimes, as you say, to think what our family will be years down the road, but I'd much rather the Lord be in control than myself! May the Lord bless for for being so honest and sharing your heart.

    1. Btw, we have 3 beautiful children now and 1 baby in Heaven most recently in August. :)

  3. These are such important questions to really think about. Very well written and thought provoking! The battle always seems to be pro-life vs. pro-choice, but when you really think about it, it is much more complex because you also need to be either pro-abortion or anti-abortion. Thanks for the thoughts :)

  4. Thank you for sharing this at Mommy Moments last week. It was the top viewed link and will be featured in the link up this coming week. Congratulations!



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