The Truth About Balloons and Toddlers

They seem harmless...

But they are not. Balloons are a parent's worst nightmare. At least if that parent has two toddlers and is named me. 

That's right. Those sweet birthday balloons may seem innocent enough, but mix them with my slightly enthusiastic children and you've got a terror. Sheer terror. 

One minute they will be sweetly bopping the balloons around and the next minute they are misguided ninjas--eyes closed, fists flailing, and everyone else (me!) ducking for cover. 

Or they will be casually pulling the balloons around the house watching them trail slowly behind them, until suddenly they are screaming and running full speed down the hallway using the balloons as some sort of shield as they crash into each other mouths wide open.

And the whole time I'm thinking, "They are gonna pop those balloons and swallow the pieces. They put everything in their mouths. Who thought balloons were a good idea? I really should stop them and cut those longs strings off before they strangle each other...but then they would let go and lose them on the ceiling and probably smash heads in the process and give each other a concussion. Then they would sit and scream, and of course, I'd feel bad and have to get a ladder to get those silly balloons back."

But I don't say any of that. I sit and listen to them fight instead. Never mind that there are four balloons and only two of them. Oh no! They each need ALL the balloons. So they fight. And scream. And cry. Until I finally take the balloons away and hide them in the closet.

So why don't I just kill the balloons? Because my kids like them. Even though I hate them and think they are dangerous and really dislike the fighting.

And because as soon as I pop them into a million little pieces, Rooster will come up in that sweet little boy voice and say, "Where balloon, mom?"

"Mom?"