Just Me. Three Ducks. And Jesus

I was sitting outside on a park bench, Bible open in my lap, crying like a baby. 

It started when I was on my way to the store. We needed groceries something fierce, and I was leaving all three kids with my husband. I stepped outside where they were playing and made the comment that I wish I could just be outside for a while. 

"Well, why don't you?" my husband asked. 

"Why don't I just stay outside? Cause I have work to do." 

"Yeah, but it will wait. Just take a kid free morning. Go to the park. Do something. Alone." 

I cried. Right there on the spot I just teared up and starred at him like he was crazy. I often get time alone without my kids, but 99% of the time it's FOR something. Like, I need you to take the kids for a while so I can mop the floor, organize the closets, and freeze 25 meals to last us for the next month or so. Please.

The other 1% of the time I find myself alone, I spend it in front of the computer furiously typing whatever jumbled mess I can think of hoping it magically turns into a blog post worth sharing. 

But this time was different. I grabbed my Bible and knew exactly what I wanted to do. I drove 2 minutes away to our local college campus, and set up camp on a bench overlooking a small pond with a few ducks. 

And I opened my Bible. 

Just me. Three ducks. And Jesus. 

I watched the clock. I still had to go get groceries and the baby would need me eventually. I had a limited amount of time, and I wanted to make it count. 

I read 1 John. 

"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever." {1Jo 2:15-17 KJV}

Recently I've been convicted of just how much I'm engrossed by the world. 

I care too much what the world says, what it thinks, what it does, and so I've made a concentrated effort over the past few weeks to disconnect. 

I've cut back on facebook. I deleted all my social media apps and limit my internet exposure to once a day. 

I stopped following some less than stellar blogs, making sure the things I'm reading are building me up rather than wasting time.

I've also traded in my electronic Bible for a real one, with black and white words and crinkly pages. 

I've started memorizing scripture again. Making an effort to spend more time listening to sermons and less time watching tv online. 

I just long to be disconnected from the world and full of Jesus. 

I read these verses with fresh eyes and ears. They reminded me so much of the words I'd memorized in James earlier in the week. 

"Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God." {Jas 4:4 KJV}

Proverbs 27:17 says, "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." 

Our friends, the people we spend our time with, influence who we are, what we think, and how we act. And if we make friends with the world, pretty soon we're going to start looking like the world. But that's not what God wants for us. He wants us to be different. Set apart. 

"Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works." {Tit 2:14 KJV}

I glanced at my phone. It was 10:27 am. I had to leave soon. My 30 minutes was up. I had places to go and people that needed me. 

Back to the world. Back to family and friends and groceries. 

I looked down at the page of scripture open before me. "Just one more thing," I thought to myself. "I want to read one more thing." 

I flipped to a familiar passage. One my heart goes too every time I start to feel crowded and busy and full of distractions. 

"Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which in God's sight is very precious." {1 Peter 3:3-4}

Lord, give me a gentle and quiet Spirit. I'm going home to busy, loud, and messy. The temptations of the world are all around me. Put a hedge around my heart, so that no matter what happens out there, I can keep this moment and these words, tied up and hidden away in here. Where I am harsh and judgmental, make me gentle. Where I am loud and prideful, make me quiet. Separate me from the world, and give me such a love for your Word that I breathe the Gospel with every breath, every word, and every action. Thank you Lord for this gift.  Thank you for making me your friend.