It's been a long week. I've spent most of my time being tired and
sore, and discouraged.
It seems like every time I turn around I'm reminded just how much
work this mothering thing can be. Everyone here wants me all the time, and
honestly, I just want to curl up and hide.
At the end of the day I have nothing left. I just keep waiting and
hoping that this baby, now a week overdue, will come soon, as if somehow having
him here will make my life easier.
Except, I know it won't. I find myself stretched to my limits
already. How can I possibly care for another child?
This week I've asked the Lord again and again, how can I? And
today he sent me an answer.
And his disciples answered him, "How can one feed these people with bread here in this desolate place?" And he asked them, "How many loaves do you have?" They said, "Seven." {Mar 8:4-5 ESV}
The disciples ask, How can you feed these people with bread here
in this desert place?
And Jesus answers, How much do you have?
Just seven loaves, they reply. It's enough.
Sometimes I look at my life and I see scarcity. I need more. More help. More time. More patience. I
look to God and shout, "How can I?"
How can I speak kindness when my heart is heavy?
How can I have patience when I'm so very tired?
How can I show love when they need too much?
And Jesus answers me the same way he answered the disciples, how
much do you have?
Jesus asks me to give all that I have over to him and trust him that it's
enough.
It's enough sleep. It's enough time. It's enough money. It's
enough energy. It's enough love.
Jesus took those 7 loaves and fed 4000 people. The disciples saw
very little, but God saw just enough.
And while some days I see very little in my own life, the truth is God has given me just enough. He can
take what little I have and through his power and grace turn it into abundance.
And so I wait. I wait in eager anticipation of our sweet baby #3.
Mothering him won't be easy, but what God gives me will be enough.
It's always enough.
Amen! Motherhood is hard, much harder than I expected. But as you said, Jesus wants to take our burdens. He wants us to give it to him. Beautifully said, thanks for the reminder.
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