Sometimes I feel like life is just running circles around me.
Have you ever been walking a dog and let go of the leash? The dog takes off and you're left running behind trying to grab the leash without falling on your face.
I'm not sure when I got so busy. I'm a stay-at-home mom. My life is supposed to revolve around cute craft projects and making dinner. I'm supposed to spend the morning folding laundry and the afternoon taking walks around the block with my two sweet littles.
Instead I find myself just trying to cross the next thing off my to-do list while the kids watch yet another movie. It's not that I'm over committed physically. I can easily be everywhere I'm needed during the week. I'm just over committed emotionally. I feel stretched thin.
I didn't think my schedule was too full until my son came to me yesterday with an overflowing diaper. He shorts, his socks, his shoes, all soaking wet. He'd been wearing the same diaper all day because someone (me!) had been too busy to stop and change him.
Dog, leash, falling on face.
I know somewhere in this mess is a truth to learn. Something about how the Lord gives us all the time we need to accomplish his will, and how if we seek first the kingdom of God, he will give us everything else we need.
I just sometimes wish that he would write out my to-do list for me. Give me a black and white, easy to follow agenda for this day.
And I wish that list had "snuggling on the couch" written on it.
I've always heard veteran moms say that there are seasons in life when your whole world revolves around your home. A mother has to give up some good ministries to focus on the great blessings God has given her. But how do you know when you are there? When do you start turning down good opportunities so you can spend more time loving your kids and caring for your family?
When do you set aside your dream of having it all, and realize that some things aren't worth having?
My heart breaks when I think of all the things I'm not doing with my life, but deep down I know this motherhood job is important. It's more than just snotty noses and dirty floors. It's about great blessings created in the image of God.
But that doesn't make it any more glamorous.
I know I need to simplify. I need to figure out what goals and ministries are worth pursuing and which ones aren't in God's plan for me. I need to spend more time playing with my kids and less time doing just about everything else.
I need to stop chasing the leash and just let the dog run free. He'll come home when he gets hungry. Right?