Hiding in the Shower and God's Loving Heart

I’ve always wondered why the Lord chose to bless Jacob?

Jacob's name means trickster.

He tricked Esau out of his birth right. He fell in line with his manipulative mother. Lied to his father (and oh what an elaborate lie it was!). And he took the blessing that didn't belong to him (which was apparently a very big deal).

Then he ran. Yeah, he was “going to find a wife” but honestly, he ran. His brother wanted to kill him, so to save his own neck he obeyed his mother and left.

Now, up to this point I’m tracking in the story. Jacob=loser. Esau=victim. I’m on Esau’s side. He begs his father for a blessing, even a leftover one. He even takes a wife of the tribe of Ishmael, Isaac’s half brother, in an effort to please his father.

But God blesses Jacob.

And this morning as I read the story in Genesis it made me mad. Jacob was a no good sinner. He didn't deserve God’s favor.  He wasn't repentant. He was stuck out in the wilderness away from home, and it was HIS OWN FAULT!

As I wrestled with this story, I asked God, “Why? Why did you bless Jacob?”

And God answered,“The same reason I blessed you.”

Ouch. You see this morning I woke up in a not-so-good mood. My kids got up an hour early, and I didn’t like it. I was short tempered with them. I begrudgingly made them breakfast. I didn’t give them the time or attention they needed. I tuned them out and let my husband pick up whatever pieces he could find to salvage our morning. 

But then my husband left for work, so I ran.

I was angry and tired. I put Cupcake to bed and Rooster in his room, and I camped out in the bathroom. I shut the door so I wouldn't hear them yell for me. I got in the shower determined to hide from what I thought was their bad morning. 

And God blessed me. It only took a few moments of quiet, before I heard that still small voice singing my new favorite song. 

“Jesus, I am resting, resting in the joy of what thou art. I am finding out the greatness of thy loving heart.”

Ten minutes later I was a new mom. Still tired, but repentant. I got out of the shower, ready to apologize to my kids. To my surprise, I found Cupcake fast asleep, and Rooster playing contentedly in his room. God graciously gave me another hour to relax, read my Bible, and simply rest.

You see. I’m like Jacob. I’m a no good sinner who doesn't deserve the Lord’s blessings. However, God looks down on me and blesses me even when I’m unrepentant.

My heart change this morning wasn't because I realized how wrong I was and turned to God. Rather God came to me. He showed me His goodness and gave me rest, even when I didn't deserve it.  

Take a minute and look at the promises God makes to Jacob in Genesis  28:13-14. 

“And behold, the Lord stood above it and said, “I am the Lord, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac. The land on which you lie I will give to you and to your offspring. Your offspring shall be like the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south, and I you and your offspring shall all the families of the earth be blessed.

Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

God came to Jacob when he least deserved it and promised to give him everything, to bless him, to be with him.

               

It’s not until Jacob is face to face with the goodness and glory of God that Jacob repents. Scripture doesn’t give us much information about the condition of his heart, but look at what Jacob says.

“Then Jacob made a vow saying, ‘If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, so that I come again to my father’s house in peace, then the Lord shall be my God.”

When Jacob ran from his sin, he also ran from everything he loved the most: his family, his friends, his home. And when God comes to bless him, Jacob asks for one thing: restoration to his father’s house in peace. I honestly believe that in that moment Jacob realized just how much his sin cost him and just how gracious God was to him.

Today, as I finished my Bible reading, I found myself very thankful that I serve a God who is gracious to sinners. When I was yet a sinner, Christ died for me. When I was lost without hope, he sent his Spirit to find me and save me. And when I was hiding in the shower this morning, he came to give comfort and joy to my weary heart.

I truly am finding out the greatness of his loving heart.