Scheduling the Routine and Driving Myself Crazy


Yesterday I hit schedule overload. I had a beautiful, quiet hour to myself, and instead of enjoying it, I was curled up in bed in semi-meltdown mode. I was behind in pretty much every area of my life: cleaning, blogging, meal planning, Bible reading, and I just didn't know what to tackle first. I was like a deer caught in the headlights of a semi-truck threatening to flatten me like a pancake.

(FYI: Semi-meltdown mode involves lots of chocolate, diet coke, and furious journaling.)

I'm one of those people who believe you can never have too much of a good thing. Ice cream, children, laughter :) Bring it on!

However, this tendency to the extreme can easily get me in trouble, especially when it comes to scheduling. I don't schedule; I over schedule!   And when I inevitably fall behind, I get very overwhelmed. 

I have a cleaning schedule, a blog schedule, and a bible reading schedule. There is my food plan and my meal plan (totally separate things). Teacup has a sleeping and eating schedule and Rooster...well he's in the process of dropping a nap so I can't wait till he's back on schedule. Oh and I set a goal to walk/jog 15 miles this week because I'm really not busy enough already.

If I have a plan, things get done. However, when I have 7 different plans nothing gets done. Too much of a good thing. 

Now in mulling over my hyper-scheduling problem, I ran into two ideas worth sharing. 

1. If you already have a good routine, you really don't need a schedule! Routines are a habitual and comfortable way of doing things. Schedules are more of a specific guideline for when and how things need to be done. Now, if you routinely never clean your house, then a cleaning schedule might be just what you need to get back on track.  However, sometimes a schedule just isn't necessary. 

My cleaning routine is pretty simple. Every day I just clean what's annoying me the most. This means the kitchen gets cleaned almost every day and the guest bedroom hardly ever. Bathrooms get cleaned right before company comes. I've tried the whole clean certain rooms on certain days thing, and it really doesn't work for me. On the days I have time to clean, I clean, and I try to make sure I have time fairly often. 

Yep, last time I made a meal plan was back in Sept...
My meal planning is also fairly laid back. I routinely take the time to write out a list of 6-7 meals we want to eat and then go grocery shopping. This doesn't happen on any certain day. When we run out of food, I go to the store. It's a comfortable way of doing things, but there are no set rules or specific time frames. 

Both of these routines work for me, but because they aren't super organized I felt the need to start micro-managing these areas of my life. Bad decision! Trying impose someone else's schedule on my routines just made my life miserable.

This brings me to point number...

2. If you run across another Christian mommy blogger/homemaker guru out there who tells you that you need schedules to be a good mother/wife/Christian punch her in the face kindly stop following her blog.

We all have things that work for us. Our schedules and routines are as different as our personalities, and there is great benefit in sharing those things with others. We can often find new ideas and new ways of doing things that will make our lives easier and less stressful (hallelujah!).

However, it's not okay for us to let other people's {seemingly} perfect routines make us feel less than stellar about ourselves. Your schedule/routine does not define your value as a wife or mother.

Do you have a comfortable home that your family enjoys?
Do you take care of your children and teach them to love the Lord?
Do you respect and support your husband in his role as the head of the family?

Then live on the wild side if you want too! If you want to go to the grocery store with nothing but a dream and a prayer, by all means embrace the chaos!

OR if you want to plan out your meals for an entire year, buy in bulk, and freeze everything so you never have to cook again, more power to you!

What's important is that we are caring for and loving our families. What's not important is the method by which we do those things. 

I need to stop comparing myself to others.  I need to stop trying to implement every good idea I find on someone else's blog and just start being my own kind of homemaker.

The kind with happy children and a really long to-do list :)


  1. So true! As a young wife I struggled with comparing myself with other {seemingly} perfect wives and housewives in the blogworld for the first few years of marriage. I tried soooo many different things, but now, after five years, I've just learnt to be myself. My husband {as he so kindly puts it when I'm meltdowning to his face} didn't marry Joan, or Jane or Jillian --- he married me. I know what works for him, for me and for our home. That's not to say I don't struggle with laziness, procrastination or any other form of avoiding hard housework. But I am so pleased I'm happier in my own skin, my own role that God has given me. Be yourself at home :)

  2. Hahaha you are my brain twin with this post! I am so with you - do what works and don't beat yourself up! I call myself a recovering perfectionist...

  3. Oh how I need to hear this everyday! Maybe it would lift the guilt... How do you deal with all the people not in blogworld like family and others who do expect you to be their version of the perfect wife/mommy/woman?

    1. Great question! Pray! lol No seriously...pray about it. Lots of people have a million different opinions and ideas about what a wife and mother should be, and they are willing to offer that advice to anyone who will listen :) Hear what they say, talk is over with your husband, and pray about it. Remember that part of being a young Christian woman is taking the counsel/advice of older women in the faith. If they mean well, be willing to learn from them.

      If what they expect however is unattainable for you, or just not your style? I would simply tell them that your husband prefers things this way or that way. Even the most pushy of people can accept that a wife's first duty is to your husband. If they say your house isn't clean enough, just tell them your husband's priority is family time, so house cleaning just has to wait. (assuming this is true of course!)

      If the ladies are someone you feel comfortable talking with I would also ask them to explain why it means so much to them they you be perfect? Sometimes people don't even realize they are asking too much! Speak the truth in love, sister!

  4. I love what you said here: "I need to stop comparing myself to others. I need to stop trying to implement every good idea I find on someone else's blog and just start being my own kind of homemaker. The kind with happy children and a really long to-do list :)"

    I also love #2. We can't expect someone else's style to work for us. We can't expect to think like them, we can't. We're uniquely us!

    I love organization and I love routines. But a couple of weeks ago an old back injury flared up and I was put on modified bed rest. Then the PT said I could get up and move around a bit more but take it easy.

    Saturday I did some vacuuming and now I am back on bed rest again and in a lot of pain. Apparently vacuuming is horrible on your back. Bummer. So I can't do my cleaning routine right now for awhile. I don't know if I should be thrilled or horrified, lol!

    Anyway, your point is wonderful. As a young mom, I struggled with a lot of guilt. I just wanted to be the best mom that I could be but daily I felt like a failure as I compared myself to others around me, and even compared myself TO myself on a good day. I just couldn't measure up with others that I thought had it all together, and I couldn't even measure up to myself sometimes.

    When I am too busy looking at someone else, I can't be the ME that God designed and is molding me to be. Besides, I'm supposed to be more like Him, right? So why am I comparing myself to someone else? ;)

    We just can't be jealous of the Holy Spirit working in someone else's life. We have to let God have the freedom to work in our lives and praise Him for what He's doing in others lives, but not compare. God bless you today, my friend!

  5. I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others. Thank you for this post!

  6. This is so so true! I needed this reminder.

  7. Yes, yes, and yes, amen! Bless your heart, I so relate. My meltdown involved tears, tea, chocolate, and journaling ;) My mothering and homemaking became enslaved to a set of false expectations when they just needed a big dose of reality, routine, and GRACE. I think He put 2 Corinthians 10:12 in there for me! Blessings--great post--thanks for being REAL. in Christ, Gin

  8. Katherine, a wise woman once said to me, "let your schedule be your servant, not the other way around." If my schedule isn't serving me, then it is a hindrance, not a blessing. Thanks for sharing your thoughts today. this is my first visit from Hungry for God, and I"m glad I clicked through :)

  9. Yesterday must have been the day for meltdowns because there was one at my house too. :-) Thank you so much for sharing...this is a good reminder!



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