What I've Learned as a Parent

My little boy is 4 months old! In the last 4 months I've realize that being a parent makes you smarter. And happier. Oh so much happier!

So what exactly have I learned? Well, let me tell you!

1. There are worse things in life than a dirty pacifier.
2. Anything can be a toy, as long as you don't mind it getting wet. 
3. Fingers are meant to be chewed on, and it doesn't matter who they belong to.
4. Great parents have the messiest houses (I know this from personal experience).
5. Everybody is a baby's best friend until he starts spitting up. 
6. Pooping in public is not only funny, it's cute (as long as it stays in the diaper)!
7. Being peed on is not cute or funny...ever. 
8. Nothing happens on Facebook between 3 am and 6 am (I still check, just in case). 
9. For babies, baths are optional. We haven't had one this year, and we are doing just fine!
10. Rolling off the couch never killed anyone. 
11. Farting is funny even to the smallest of boys. Nothing gets a giggle like breaking wind. 
12. Babies are a good excuse to get you out of anything...not that I've done that.
13. Diaper bags are only as good as the person who packs them. 
14.  Forgetting a baby in the car is easier than you think.  
15.  We were boring before we had a baby. We just didn't know it!
16. Parenting books are for sissies. Just wing it! You'll be fine...mostly. 
17. Spare the rod spoil the child (that is if the rod is sleep and the child is a tired mommy).
18. It's all fun and games until somebody gets hungry. 
19. If dads could breastfeed, moms would have  more babies. 
20. A boy is never too young for bow ties.
21. If a picture is worth a thousand words, I would have written several books by now.

But then again, can you blame me?