This Means War
They may look like innocent, colorful, plastic toys, but don't be fooled! They are out to take over my house...and possibly the world!
Awhile back, I bought Reuben a package of those plastic links from Wal-Mart. I thought they would be a great size for his little hands to hold on to, and of course, they make great chains on which to hang toys. They turn dangley toys into toys that he can grab and chew on; they are perfect for us! The package came with 24 links, which seemed like it would be plenty for one baby. I mean how many links could we possibly use in one day?
More than 24. That's how many. After about 2 weeks, I couldn't find enough links to hang a toy on his car seat, and instead of going on a link hunt, I just went to the store and bought another package. They are cheap, and apparently easy to lose, so I felt quite justified in buying some more.
I think this was their plan all along! You see it wasn't 24 hours after I opened the new package of links, that all of the original links came out of hiding. It's like their master plan was for me to instantly double their numbers, so they could form an army to take over our house. And if you are doubting whether colorful plastic links can be this sinister, then you obviously haven't seen Toy Story 3. Toys can be evil!
So now instead of having 24 links, we have 48. That's right, folks! My 4 month old baby has almost 50 plastic links, and he leaves them everywhere! They've taken every toy we have hostage. If a toy isn't linked to something, it's cowering at the bottom of diaper bag, hoping the links won't find it! There is a string of links running across the top of the baby bed. Links hanging from his play yard and his bassinet. They've wrapped themselves around his car seat handle and seem to take pleasure in pinching my fingers! You can't cross the living room floor without stepping on them, and I have even found them littering the kitchen cabinet, mingling among the dirty dishes. They are in the bathtub, the diaper bag, the car floor board, and my purse!
This may not seem like a bad thing. The original problem was that I couldn't find links when I needed them, and now they are everywhere, so why am I complaining? I'm complaining because my parents are coming to see Reuben this weekend, and I've got to clean the house in preparation for their arrival. Grandparents are the closest thing we get to royalty around here, which means tightened security and heightened standards of cleanliness and order. Having plastic links everywhere is just not a part of the plan.
So this afternoon I am going to have to put on my mean mommy face and crack down on these toys!
Colorful plastic links, I'm on a mission to hunt you down and put you in your place! You better watch yourself because this mother is ready to take back her house!
Or at least her living room...can I at least have the living room? Please!?!?